Emotions are weird. How they are expressed can be even stranger. I don’t typically express my emotions visibly. I tend to think through my emotions and feelings. I deconstruct my emotions to the depth of what’s going on internally. I can be highly emotional internally. How it’s expressed is typically through small group conversations or through my writing.
Growing up in a first family at church, a particular piece of writing came about, birth through some of my frustrations.
The assumption of this perfect family led to a lot of contempt for our family. To find out people relish in your misery, especially those who say they love and care for you, hurts quite a bit. When you’ve seen your parents pour out so much for others and in their time of need, not many people are there to help. That level of contempt for your parents is passed on to you, just because of association, not complaining. Still, it’s the reality of the situation.
People want to see you fail, fall, and drop your standards. It’s tempting and would be so much easier to shut people up, but is it worth it? The depth of my frustration was expressed in a piece that I wrote in 2012 when I was 19, called façade. It was supposed to be a poem for a creative writing course in college, but it turned more into a rant. The rant masquerades like a poem, so it’s technically a facade as well.
Merriam-Webster defines façade as a “a false, superficial, or artificial appearance or effect”.