Conceived in Thought

I’ve watched my fair share of romances and rom-coms in my life, and I’ve observed a plethora of couples in my life. I get frustrated with how it’s often portrayed throughout our culture here in America. When you observe a lot, you see quite a bit of unmet expectations. I don’t agree with love at first sight. I agree with attraction and lust at first sight, though.

Here’s a unique contradiction or, better said, as an outlier that I have. I believe in love at first thought. Only in a particular example do I attribute this to, and that is the relationship between parent and child. I see parents begin to prepare a place months before the child is even here from my observations. My parents have told me the history behind why they wanted another child, especially a son, which has a lot to do with my previous article. So, check it out to get context.

Storge

Love is usually ambiguously or abstractly defined in our culture. It’s usually revolves around our feelings and typically has no concrete foundation to stand on. From my perspective that’s rooted in my faith, I view love to be a choice. Also, I believe love to be sacrificial in nature, and it has restraints. The parent-to-child or familial love that I explained earlier is called Storge in Greek.

There’s a reason why God (the father) reveals himself as a parent and uses the family to illustrate His love and purposes throughout the bible. A great psalm that resonates with me in bares out unique point and principle is:

Psalms 139:16 (NLT)
16 You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.

This is David praising God in the creation process. I think the principle highlighted here can be shared with parents who are rightly aligned with God on this statement. My parents knew me in thought before I was conceived. Both my sister and I were planned. However, I’m going to take you through the journey in how this is a freeing thing of worth from a child’s perspective.

Boyz in the Hood

I was born in January of 1993, but this story starts in the summer of 91’. If you’re doing math in your head, that’s more than nine months 🙂. In that summer, a movie called Boyz in the Hood was released, and Ice Cube directed and starred in the film. Laurence Fishburne and Cuba Gooding Jr. also starred in the movie. The majority of the movie has much to do with the relationship between a father and his son.

I’m pretty sure you wasn’t expecting a movie like this in the article. It’s an excellent movie, and I might not have been here without it because afterward, my dad really wanted a chance to raise a son. There was some persuading that needed to be done, though. This was a few years after my sis was born, and my mom was hesitant about having another child.

This is nothing against my mom, that’s my girl. I’ve already expressed this to her; personally, only one woman would ever take her place in the hierarchy, and that would be my wife. From the stories, it was a rough pregnancy for my mom. I dehydrated her often during those nine months, so she had her reasons for having those qualms.

Persuaded

How my mom get’s persuaded isn’t ultimately from dad but from my paternal grandmother. Thankfully, there was no mother-in-law and wife friction between my grandmother and mom. On the contrary, they had a close relationship. My grandmother felt guilty about not being able to spend a lot of time with my sis in her formative years because many of my older cousins were born around the same time (like months apart).

So, my grandmother told her, “If you have this child, I’ll take care of them, and you won’t have to worry about child care.” That was the gist of the conversation. This is all before I’m conceived, but I’m known in their thoughts and actions. You know how kids are made 😏.

Loving Worth

To have your parents know you before you were conceived gives you a unique perspective on life. It helps with how one relates to God and how He loves us. If you read Psalms 139 in its entirety, you’ll read how he knows our thoughts, words, and the depths of who we are before we’re conceived in thought. My personal favorite Psalm is chapter 37. My core verses for life are held here, and it states:

Psalms 37:4, 23-24 (NLT)
4 Take delight in the Lord,
and he will give you your heart’s desires.
23 The Lord directs the steps of the godly.
He delights in every detail of their lives.
24 Though they stumble, they will never fall,
for the Lord holds them by the hand.

The second half of verse 23 helps with the side of worth that God delights in the details of one’s life, as those who delight in Him and are considered godly. Verse 24 helps ground one and gives hope at the same time that the faith walk isn’t easy.

Opportunities and Time

For those who didn’t plan out their parenthood, this isn’t an article to condemn one. You can still learn and apply principles through learning more about God. He’s a master craftsman; he can still make anything beautiful and grand. A good verse for reference is:

Ephesians 5:15-17 (NLT)
15 So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. 16 Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. 17 Don’t act thoughtlessly but understand what the Lord wants you to do

I wrote this to encourage parents, soon-to-be parents, or those with hopes for the future to be parents. Also, I wanted to show God and my parents off. Be encouraged, and thanks for reading.